Send Me Your Money!

Nov 4, 2013 by

eagle scout badge
A comment on my post Walmart Layaway Still Sucks gave me an idea: if people think a mega-corporation holding their money for them while charging fees and paying no interest is an appealing service, why shouldn’t Money Counselor offer the same only better? I mean, I like holding money, especially other people’s money. And I’m trustworthy—certainly more so than Walmart or any other corporate entity—and I’ve got the Eagle Scout badge to prove it. Or you could ask my Mom. So with this post I’m announcing the official launch of

 

→ The Money Counselor Layaway Program! ←

 

How Money Counselor Layaway Works

The MC Layaway Program works like this:

  1. You send me money.
  2. I’ll hold it for you.
  3. When you want your money, I’ll send it to you.
  4. You buy something with the money.

Let’s Compare Money Counselor and Walmart Layaway

My layaway program is far better than Walmart’s. Here’s why:

  • You open a Walmart layaway account at the Walmart.com Service Desk. If you’re able to find something called “Service Desk” at Walmart.com (I wasn’t), you can be sure of turning over lots of personal information in the process of opening a layaway account. To open a Money Counselor layaway account, just mail me a check. You might enclose a stick of gum. I like gum.
  • To open a Walmart layaway account, you must deposit at least 10% of the price of whatever it is Walmart will be pretending physically to “layaway” for you. In contrast, you can send to me as much or as little money as you want to hold in your Money Counselor layaway account. I won’t even ask what you’re planning to buy.
  • Items laid away at Walmart must cost at least $15. Again, with Money Counselor layaway, what you’re planning to buy and how much it costs is your business.
  • With Walmart layaway, you must fully pay for the item or items Walmart’s fake reserving for you by December 13. Otherwise your junk items are sent back to China (or something). With my layaway program, I’m happy to hold your money as long as you’d like, no questions asked.
  • If you cancel your Walmart layaway account, you’re hit with a $10 fee. If you cancel your Money Counselor layaway account, I’ll just send you all of your money (less the CDN$1.16 cost of Canada/U.S. postage if you live in the USA). Just drop me an email: “Hey Kurt, please send me my money, okay?” Done.
  • You make Walmart layaway payments at a store register. With Money Counselor layaway, just send me a check—you don’t have to waste gasoline, fight for a parking space, and rub elbows with mobs of, well, Walmart shoppers.
  • Walmart layaway is available only for “Electronics, Automotive Electronics, Toys, Infant Toys, Select Sporting Goods, Small Appliances, and Jewelry.” Wireless phones that require contracts are specifically ineligible for layaway. Here too Money Counselor layaway beats Walmart: when I send your money back to you, you can buy whatever you want with it.

No contest, right?

I Know What You’re Thinking

You’re thinking, “Why should I send this idiot blogger my money? If I want to buy something, I can just save for it in my own bank account or ask my sister to hold the money for me.”

Exactly. So why would you let Walmart (or any other retailer) hold your money through a crummier layaway program than Money Counselor’s?

But if I’m wrong, and you’re thinking you’d like to open a Money Counselor layaway account, just drop me a note, and I’ll send you my postal address.

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