What Black Friday Is and Is Not

Nov 25, 2014 by

Zenta 2014


As Black Friday morphs into Black November (surely soon to be Black Everlasting) one thing is for sure: Black Friday ain’t what it used to be.

Time to take a step back and recognize anew what the current version of Black Friday is and is not.

What Black Friday Is

  • Gross
  • Probably the best opportunity you’ll ever have to experience being trampled
  • Or have your face ground into a flat screen
  • Entertaining (watch the store opening videos after the fact—see below)
  • Bigger than Christmas?
  • Apparently the only topic worthy of media coverage just now
  • The Mother of All Ways to separate consumers from their money
  • The one day my brother who’s employed by a big retailer always has to work
  • The blogosphere’s most popular keyword (I defy you to find a blog without a Black Friday article. Like this one, for instance)
  • Past its prime
  • A bad day (well, week or more now) to be a Wal-Mart security guard (or is that every day?)
  • A good day to leave your pistol at home even though you’ve got that awesome conceal carry permit

What Black Friday Is Not

  • On a Friday, only
  • A good day to save money
  • Easy to ignore (oh, how I’ve tried!)
  • Environmentally friendly (imagine its carbon footprint!)
  • Better than quality time with your friends and family
  • Likely to help put payday lenders out of business
  • Something to recommend to your grandmother
  • A bad day to put your credit card on ice
  • Encouraging to alien beings observing earthlings
  • The sort of event the Dalai Lama appreciates
  • The best day of the year to buy gifts (that would be the day before my birthday)
  • Fun—unless you’re a mixed martial arts veteran

What’s Black Friday to you?

In case you’ve forgotten what Black Friday is like, here’s a reminder.

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2014 Kurt Fischer
All original content on these pages is fingerprinted and certified by Digiprove